It was November 1, 2023, and I was quietly watching the clock hit 11 AM. It’s been six months into my gap year, my thoughts were riddled with anxiety and aimlessly running around in my head as I was dreading to receive this one email. What’s the worst possible thing that could happen as I started to put in my login information to see what score I received on my LSAT? The last piece I need to finally get into law school and make my dream of becoming a lawyer come true. But my heart sank through me as I saw a 144 score across my computer screen. I felt everything flash before my eyes as it will be another year that I can’t apply to law schools. My aspirations and dreams seemed to just disappear like tunnel vision; I was just left looking expressionless in front of my computer screen during a regular workday. Everyone is working normally around me, and here I am frozen in time as my feelings of disappointment wash over me like a typhoon. As the world continued around me, my brain started to remember the exact feelings from a year ago when I got my results. The reason why my whole journey has changed.
My aspirations and dreams seemed to just disappear like tunnel vision; I was just left looking expressionless in front of my computer screen during a regular workday.
I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since I was 8. I remember watching Legally Blonde and being hooked on being the next Elle Woods. As I grew older, I got to explore the different avenues of advocacy by internships and furthering my education. I want to continue being a fierce advocate for justice. I want to learn more about the systems that impact people like myself, to use law to help folks find agency within themselves and their community, and using my social work master's to make sure their agency/independence can have longevity and can be transferable to those around them.
I was anxious to start this new path for myself, but I started to slowly begin to love my gap year. I was slowly replacing my guilt, shame, and anxiety with compassion and resilience for myself. I'm so happy I have become the person that I am now, while taking a break because I’ve found amazing opportunities where I get to learn more about myself like being a cashier at Just Salad. I learned about my passions such as nonprofits and helping the youth by applying to Future Leaders In Action, a nonprofit that is helping to continue my passion by providing opportunities to work with other organizations such as Fiver, who are helping youth through a 10-year program that provides them growth from elementary school and beyond. It also gives the youths of New York a chance to go to camp during the summer to become comfortable with nature and challenge themselves.
My role at Fiver has allowed me to grow my creative side as their program fellow.
My role at Fiver has allowed me to grow my creative side as their program fellow. I’m in charge of creating their camp’s Sunday Funday and Battle of the Units where kids will learn to collaborate through different activities and learn from one another. One moment that has stood out to me while working here is their meetings. Last week they were discussing the statistics of kids in their program going to college this year. It’s not like kids aren’t interested in going to college, but they know there are other alternatives. Kids are interested in going to trade school, having a gap year, or starting a YouTube channel. Fiver makes sure their kids have a plan for their future, even if it's not traditional. Every child that walks through their door will be successful in whatever path they choose. Their discussions really made me open my eyes to my own journey, at a year where I would not have this opportunity to enjoy my passion for being part of nonprofits that help youth and learn about myself in the process.
I’ve grown confident in myself as I navigate the world on my own time. I’m proud to not only strengthen my passions but be provided the space to explore the different avenues of advocacy.
I’ve grown confident in myself as I navigate the world on my own time. I’m proud to not only strengthen my passions but be provided the space to explore the different avenues of advocacy. Each experience has given me a new definition of what it means to be successful. Being able to find a solid foundation for myself and still explore at my pace. I’m excited to see what is in store for me as I continue to go down paths that are unknown to me.